Legally speaking

Our final set of banns was completed on Sunday, meaning that from a legal point of view we can get married!

We didn't manage to get to hear any of them being read aside from the very first ones two months ago - it's been a pretty drawn out process - but we have the pieces of paper to say they've been done and no one objected.

All that's left to do now is to give those to Andy, the vicar at Aston, before he can marry us.

Finally a decision!

I had a hair trial this weekend and finally decided what I'm going to do with my hair! I'm not giving away any secrets here, because darling beardy man saw my poodle look when I'd taken the style out afterwards, but I'm having curls.

Here are a few pictures for your entertainment, taken by Jenny, who managed to capture a particularly fetching picture (see the third pic).

 

The hairdresser, whose name I think is Jane, was lovely and got exactly what I was trying to explain with the first attempt. We just had to make a few little tweaks to the first style she tried to make it perfect.

We booked in an appointment for the wedding day, and she even offered to come in earlier if I wanted to get it done before the 9am opening time. She was so lovely and made me feel so relaxed, I'm looking forward to going back again on the big day.

Woodberry Hair & Beauty Ltd
196 Reddicap Heath Road, Sutton Coldfield, B75 7ET
t: 0121 311 2891

Finding a reception venue - part 2

The church centre at Aston was suggested as a reception venue pretty early on, and is an ideal space for a ceilidh, but because we had thought we wanted a sit down three course meal for the wedding breakfast, we weren't sure if it would work. The church centre is not the prettiest venue either, being a fairly typical 1980s hall with painted walls, a textured ceiling and strip fluorescent lights.

However, after deciding against Penns Hall we came back to the idea of the church centre, especially when Mom and Dad mentioned that there was a lady at the church who could decorate it beautifully so that it looked like we were in a marquee.

The idea had so many plus points - why go somewhere else when there's a venue right next to the church?; people who aren't local won't have to find another venue; we can have more people there so people who have travelled won't have to worry about finding somewhere to kick their heels for three hours before the evening do; even though the centre isn't licensed, people are welcome to bring in their own drinks; the cost was much less even if it meant hiring in a separate caterer and having to do a bit more work; and there's lots of outdoor space at the centre for kids to run around.

We still haven't been able to find very good pictures of the marquee-like setup, but we're quite happy with the idea of the church centre now, and even with having to find a caterer, it's still worked out cheaper (and catered for more people) than going to a hotel or restaurant for a wedding breakfast.

Finding a reception venue - part 1

When we were looking around for a reception venue we knew we wanted somewhere where ideally we could have a ceilidh in the evening, and it had to be somewhere that would cater for vegetarians, because my dad is a veggie.

While we were deliberating, darling beardy man's parents booked their hotel rooms for the wedding weekend at Penns Hall Hotel. (It's technically Ramada Sutton Coldfield now, but it's also been known as Crossroads Motel for those of you who remember the 1970s...) His mum made enquiries about the hotel's wedding reception facilities.

My dad then went to investigate and was shown the suggested room for 70 people, with tables laid out, chair covers, subtle lighting and catering available for a three course lunch. Dad said it looked nice, it sounded pretty good and the menus looked tasty, with veggie options available.

We did have slight reservations because we really wanted a hog roast and ceilidh in the evening, and we weren't sure if the hotel would be able to cater a hog roast, or if the room would be okay for a ceilidh with more than 70 people there - our guest list was quite long! There was also the added problem that quite a lot of our guests would be travelling some distance to get to the wedding. We wouldn't neccessarily want them at the breakfast but would want them at the evening, but they might want to travel back home earlier because they'd have the distance to travel.

The problem was resolved when we went to see the room that Penns Hall was offering. It had its own entrance straight off the car park, which immediately caused a few worries. We're going to have quite a lot of children at the reception and so ideally we wanted somewhere where they could go and run around and burn off some energy. The car park isn't an ideal place for them to do that, and there wasn't any other outdoor space for them to go.

Another issue was that while the room was well-lit and did just about have the space we wanted, there was no natural light at all, aside from a fire exit which led out into a tiny courtyard.

Given the cost of the package (over £2,000), the space restriction and the worries about children, we decided that Penns Hall probably wasn't going to be a suitable venue.

As an aside, although the function room wasn't particularly suitable, we have booked a bridal suite at the hotel overlooking the lake, and that looks absoluttely lovely.

Ramada Birmingham, Sutton Coldfield
Penns Lane, Walmley, Sutton Coldfield, B76 1LH
e: enquiries@ramadasuttonhotel.co.uk
t: 0121 351 3111
w: www.ramadasuttonhotel.co.uk

Whatever the weather

One thing you can never count on in Britain is the weather, so for our wedding we've decided to plan for rain.

In November, the likelihood is the weather is not going to be brilliant, so we've decided that if we plan for rain then we'll be fine if it does bucket it down, and if it doesn't then that's an added bonus!

The pictures after the service will be taken in the church, and the reception is going to be in the church centre, which is connected to the church by an indoor link, meaning no one will have to go outside.

It would be nice if we could have a few pictures taken outside, and I would absolutely love it if it was snowing! I think that's unlikely - Novembers in the Midlands tend to be wet and grey - but even if it is soggy and overcast, we're prepared for the worst.

To love, cherish and obey

I, N , take you, N , to be my husband,
to have and to hold from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love, cherish and obey
till death us do part;
according to God's holy law.
In the presence of God I make this vow.

 
I plan on promising to 'love, cherish and obey' darling beardy man. This may come as a surprise to people who know me, who know that I'm rarely short of an opinion and always happy to vocalise it or to disagree with other people. It all comes down to what you understand by 'obey' though.

In the context of marriage I don't believe that 'obey' means I should always do exactly what and only what my husband says. I believe there is a place in marriage for differences of opinion, and that there's nothing wrong with a couple disagreeing with each other over some things.

Where I believe the obeying issue comes in (and I have talked about this with darling beardy man) is if there's something which we need to make a decision on but we can't agree. In that case, I would go with his decision as he is the head of the household.

I imagine that in most cases we'll be able to agree on something, or the issue won't be one that requires us to agree (for example, what shall we eat for tea? I want chicken and you want pork? We'll cook both.) But in the cases where we do need to make a decision, if we can't make one then he will make that call.

A bit of history

My dad organised the car to take me to the wedding through a work friend whose family owns a wedding car hire business.

When it came to booking the exact vehicle he discovered that the company still owned the same car my mom travelled to her wedding in, so I'll be travelling to the same church my parents married in, in the same car that they had. It's a very nice thought that it's a bit of family history repeating itself.

The car is called Rupert (I have no idea why!) and is a 1934 vintage blue and white Rolls-Royce 20/25 limousine – "a car of character and distinction which carries up to six passengers also has a sunshine roof." The car hire business has been around even longer, having been set up as a family business in 1927.

AB Taylor Wedding Services
49 Wolverhampton Road South, Birmingham, B32 2AY
t: 0121 434 4340
e: taylorweddings@btconnect.com
w: www.abtaylor.co.uk

Walking up the aisle

The last time I walked up the aisle of Aston Parish Church was just over three years ago for my brother's wedding, when I was a bridesmaid.

A few things were different to the way they will be on 23rd November - they were married in May rather than November, and they had their reception at a different location. But we have pinched a few ideas from their wedding which worked well.

Firstly, we're planning to do our photos inside the church, using the chancel windows as the background. That way it doesn't matter if it rains because we'll be inside, and no one will be getting too cold or wet hanging around outside.

If the weather is good, we've still got the option of going outside for a few pictures, but we won't have to worry if it is tipping it down with rain.

We're also planning to have cake and a drink available at the back of the church for people to eat straight after the service and while the pictures are being done. A nice thing about this means that we'll get the chance to see people who aren't coming to the reception before we disappear.

How the parents cope

My parents have two very different approaches to the organisation of the wedding.

My Mom is very much a list-maker, and she has dozens of pieces of paper filled with lists, dates, contact details, things to do and questions to ask. My Dad joked last week that the whole upstairs of their house was pull of pieces of paper!

Dad, on the other hand, seems to be very laid back about it all and is happy to take a back seat unless we particularly ask him to do something for us.

I think I fall somewhere in the middle of the two. I do have lists, but certainly not as many as Mom. It would be impossible to take a back seat in the organisation, but I don't think I'm worrying about things as much as Mom is - although lovely beardy man may disagree!

OhMyGoodnessI'mGettingMarried!

I've had two moments so far when it's actually hit me that I'm getting married.

The first was a couple of weeks ago when we got the letter from the church to confirm our booking for the wedding day. It was very exciting to actually see it all in print, and it was a bit of an 'oh my goodness' moment to realise that yes, this is actually happening!

The second moment was yesterday when we had our banns read for the first time. Because we're getting married in a Church of England church we have to have the banns read at the church we're getting married in as well as in the parishes we live in. Since we live in different parishes and we're getting married in Birmingham, this means three lots of banns.

Banns have to be read at some point in the three months before the wedding, and have to be read on three consecutive Sundays. Essentially, they're the "if anyone knows of any reason why this couple may not marry" bit which takes place during the actual ceremony, but repeated several times.

We had to give lots of information to the vicars - full names, addresses, age at time of wedding, status (widowed/bachelor/spinster) and where we're getting married - so that they could fill in the forms, and even more information to Aston, because they have to fill in the marriage certificate.

Finally, after meeting the vicars and filling in the forms, our first reading of the banns took place at Holy Trinity Church in Oswestry yesterday. Although beardy man and I both go to the Baptist church, the banns have to be read in the CofE church, and I live in the parish of Holy Trinity.

The service started half an hour before the one at our church, so we decided to go along and listen to the banns being read. Paul, the vicar, welcomed us when we arrived, and there were quite a few people there that we knew from various places, so it was quite a nice welcoming church to be at. The service had a couple of hymns and readings before the notices, and then it was the banns. It was very strange to hear our names being read out in front of so many people, and it made me feel like it was actually official now - we're getting married! They prayed for us and another couple having their banns read at the same time, which was really nice, and then we snuck out to go to our church service.

While we were walking back I got a bit teary, which is really silly, but I got very emotional at the thought of us actually getting married! (Emotional in a good way, of course!)

Oh, and no one objected when the banns were read :-)

Welcome to the church

One of the simplest things we had to do was book the church for the wedding. We're getting married at Aston Parish Church, in Birmingham, where I went to church until I was about 18, my parents still go, and my parents and my brother were married.

For anyone who follows Premiership football, it's almost directly opposite the Aston Villa ground, and darling beardy man, knowing that I wanted to get married there, even gave me a list of Villa's fixtures when he proposed, so that we could make sure that we chose a day when the club was away and we'd be able to get cars in and not get swamped by football fans!

The church itself is beautiful, with its Victorian architecture and stained glass windows. (It also has a lovely aisle, which is very important, because I don't want to get married anywhere where there isn't an aisle for me to walk down!) It's very interesting to look around as well, and a few years ago little brother and I wrote a new guide book for the church to replace the old one which was written in 1985.

Another good thing about Aston is that it's got a church centre which is attached to the church via an indoor link, meaning that if the weather is bad we don't have to go outside at all to get to the reception. A lady at the church has an amazing way of decorating the centre so that it looks like a marquee, and there's a kitchen if we want to do any of our own catering, toilets, and plenty of space to sit and eat, and to dance later in the evening.

Aston Parish Church
Witton Lane, Aston, Birmingham, B6 6QA
t: 0121 327 3880
w: www.astonnechellscofe.org.uk

Guest lists dilemmas

We, like every other couple getting married I expect, have been having an issue with our guest lists.

Even without the lists provided by both sets of parents of people we really shouldn't forget to invite, we have a lot of people travelling from quite a distance to the wedding.

While some of those (like the best man!) were people who would be invited to the wedding breakfast anyway, some of them weren't, but if they had to leave early then they wouldn't be able to come to an evening do. They also wouldn't know the area at all, so they couldn't just pop home for some lunch and then come back for the evening.

Combined with all the children that our guests will be bringing, the numbers jumped quite quickly. At one point our list was something like 60 adults plus 17 children.

It would be so much simpler if we'd grown up within 10 miles of each other and never moved anywhere else! :-)