A marriage, not just a wedding

Because we're getting married in the Church of England, we have to do marriage preparation with a minister. We didn't want to have to travel to Birmingham for a session with the vicar at Aston, but the pastor at our church was happy to do some sessions with us instead.

We had our first session last night using the Marriage Preparation Course, which was produced by the same church that started the Alpha course. The session lasted about an hour and a half and involved watching a DVD of the course leaders Nicky and Sila Lee talking about various issues, then time to discuss things with each other. Pastor Ken didn't take part in the discussions and was really just there if we had any questions.

The five sessions cover all sorts of issues, from communication (what we looked at last night) and commitment to conflict resolution and sex. At the end of each session there's 'homework', which is really just a few things to talk about with each other related to what was covered in the session.

The session was different to what I expected, and I had problems concentrating to start with because Nicky Lee looks and talks so much like Kevin McCloud (of Channel 4 Grand Designs' fame), but it was useful and interesting, and it did give us an excuse to just sit and talk together as a couple about coupley/relationship things. I'm quite looking forward to the rest of the course.

Love Is

I'm doing a Bible study on love at the moment to help me prepare for marriage. I've decided I'm going to post some of my responses and thoughts from it on here as well, to remind me that there's more to planning a marriage than just planning a wedding.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Using one word, how would you sum up what love is?

Worthy. A strange choice perhaps, but true love and the person or people who you love are worth making sacrifices for.

Which of these definitions of love stands out to you right now?

Not self-seeking - going into marriage I'm very aware that there will need to be compromises made by me and my fiancé. We've both been single for so long that we will have our own ways of doing things and we will need to work together to find 'our' way of doing things instead of 'my' way of doing things.

To love him and help our marriage I can't be self-seeking and demand everything to be done my way, I have to be willing to allow him to do things that he really wants to do and have things that he really wants to have, and to do it not grudgingly, but happily, because I love him - even if I really don't like the dead troll keyring that he has!

And because he loves me, he will let me have salad and chicken in his fridge even though he will never eat them :-)

Glencoe, 27th July, 2013